I wish we could start again

Because you don’t know the person I become to be 

Quite frankly in some ways you molded me

I can reflect on the blessings you gave to me

I just wish we were on the same page looking eye to eye on how it needs to be

I’m sure you hated me

For the things that I put you through

Or the times I felt alone crying in a empty room

Yesterday I asked god to please change him into the person I need him to be

Because my mind won’t stop running and my heart pumps for the couple that I’ve dreamed we would be

Off balanced I had thoughts of us being apart

The way I say I don’t need you is the same way my mind stops 

Because that’s when I start to think that this wish can very well come true

Then I think about raising babies and eating dinner without you. 

Would my heart hurt just as much as yours just thinking about those words

Or will I brush it off keep going on like nothing was heard

Because our pride is in the way and were both scared to love

But we can’t let each other go not one of our love was ever above

Above the next one because our lives crossed perfectly 

But I took you for granted and you misplaced my trust on some break you see

That the pain still lingers and the words that I said still does to but that doesnt change the fact that my world does not see anyone in it but you

Even when I am alone I try not to see 

Your smile or the words that you have taught to me

Like the meaning of reliance knowing you will always be there 

Not the difference of love because we all know how that could be

But the meaning of growth is what you gave to me 

Things haven’t changed even though it’s so different now

I’m not the same even my love shows differently now.

But some person had said there is one way to know if a person is meant for you 

And I thought yeah let’s hear this because that sounds like it is to good to be true

But then this person says does he mold you, water you and encourage you to grow

And quite frankly that is when I started to know 

That my number one dream in life is to be happy share my love as I love myself, nourish my self-worth and let my self knowledge just flow

Then I realized you encouraged me to do that all along

So many times before

but I was too busy pushing you away

instead of nurturing you so that your soul can grow.